


Seriously!?

by Cassiopeia13



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 13:26:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16744861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassiopeia13/pseuds/Cassiopeia13
Summary: Loki and Thor are not at all secretive when it comes to their relationship and Balder is getting tired of it.This is complete crack





	Seriously!?

It was a not-so-secret secret that the two older princes of Asgard had a relationship far outside the normal realm of brotherly affection. No one knew when the two brothers had taken their love for one another from friendly to passionate, but everyone assumed they would eventually grow out of it. Odin and Frigga ignored it, tending to change the subject if anyone spoke of the physical relationship between their eldest sons; the guards ignored it, turning their heads when the two princes would make out against the wall; and the servants would watch with open curiosity until the brothers were no longer in their sights. The only one who gave any indication it was happening at all was Balder, Odin and Frigga’s youngest son, centuries younger than his two older siblings.

The first time Thor and Loki kissed in front him he’d shrieked and yelled for nearly five minutes about brothers kissing in public. Loki had laughed and kissed Thor again then acted like he was about to kiss Balder which earned him a meat pie in the face. Unfortunately for him, Balder was then forced to watch as Thor licked the remaining pie from his brother’s face making happy little noises while Balder groaned into the table. His life was very weird. 

After that first time, Balder caught them in the act many many times. Against walls, hidden in the library stacks, in the gardens and once Loki had slipped under the table at a tavern in Vanahiem and proceeded to suck Thor off in the packed pub with Balder sitting next to them. The younger prince glared but said nothing else, used to his elder brothers’ behaviour after so long. He did manage to get back at them later that night by casting a spell while they slept that turned their hair a lovely shade of fuschia that took Loki nearly a full week to break. 

That prank set the tone for centuries thereafter. Loki and Thor would try to embarrass their little brother and Balder would use magic to get back at them. The time they’d had sex in Balder’s bed they’d found themselves, the next morning, in the mountains without a stitch of clothing on during a blizzard. Loki had gotten them back relatively quickly, but not before certain bits had become covered in snow. Thor had threated Balder with bodily harm for that one, but Balder disappeared too quickly; he had gotten very good with magic. 

“Where are your brothers?” Frigga asked several mornings after that incident. “You didn’t send them to the mountains again did you?”

Balder laughed. That had been one of his better pranks, but he shook his head, swirling the lettuce around his bowl. “They’re fucking in the stables like commoners. Utterly disgusting.” Rather than answering back, Frigga sighed and left Balder alone with his lunch. She never responded to the frank answers her youngest son gave her. 

It wasn’t long before Loki and Thor walked in, smelling like hay and sex. Balder wrinkled his nose. “Oh! Meat pies,” Thor proclaimed excitedly as he pulled three onto a plate and poured himself a mug of mead. Loki, like Balder, prefered a lighter meal and made himself a salad with lamb on top and a light herbal dressing. “How do you fair, brother?” Thor asked his youngest. 

“Now that I’m not watching you two go at it like rabbits? Much better,” Balder answered with a smirk. “Mother was looking for you but I told her you were fucking in the hay and she left.”

Loki rolled his eyes as he dug into his lunch. “You need to stop teasing her with that, you know how she hates it. And don't forget you have a magic lesson at 2:30. Some ancient light elf is visiting and has been gracious enough to offer us a lesson. We would do well to take it, their magic is unmatched by any in the realms.”

The elvers were powerful magic users, and some were thought to be the most powerful magic users in the universe, but Balder knew that Loki’s magic was growing, had seen his elder brother using and knew he needed no instruction from an elf. Still, the lesson could be useful, especially in learning new pranks. “I’ll be there.”

The lunch was fairly pleasant though Thor and Loki were quite obviously doing something to one another under the table that Balder was trying not to think about too much. He’d asked them once, when he was little, why they kissed all the time and Thor had told him that Loki and Thor had a special relationship. They were meant for one another, their strings of fate forever entwined. Balder had thought it was beautiful at time, and while it was still beautiful it was also annoying, especially when they started kissing. 

Balder sighed when Loki was suddenly pushed against the wall, one of Thor’s hands holding both his brother’s wrists over his head. Loki moaned, arching into his brother’s body while Thor palmed his ass with his free hand, lips ghosting over Loki’s neck. “Seriously!?!” Balder ranted, throwing a radish at Thor’s head. It bounced off and rolled under the counters. “You do this in front of my salad?!”

Loki jumped, wrapping both legs around Thor’s waist and rocked, moaning when their hardness rubbed together through their pants. He looked up, making eye contact with Balder and smirked; Balder scowled back at him. With a wave of Loki’s hand, Thor and Loki disappeared, their laughter echoing around the small dining room. Balder scowled again, folding his arms and glaring at the spot his two brothers just disappeared from. “You better not be on my bed!” He yelled, knowing they wouldn’t be able to hear him, but wanting it said anyway.


End file.
